Friday, July 24, 2009 by Tom.

[I recently discovered that a number of prior blog entries I made apparently never published to the site. I will try to locate or reconstruct those and hopefully fix the problem.]

I got a call from my mother this afternoon.  Everyone else in the house was asleep and I was laying down browsing around on the computer.  I’ve been using a freeware bible study program called eSword for a time and I just upgraded to a new version release which completely revamped the process.  It required a reinstall of all the other free addons and I was having trouble with a few of them until I finally figured it out yesterday.  In the process, I found a users’ group web site for the program.  So today while everyone else was sleeping, I went back to the user group and created an account.  I was just looking around and stumbled upon some amateur videos giving instruction on using eSword.  I was in the middle of the second video when the phone rang.

Mom told me that a cousin of mine, who was six months younger than me, hadn’t shown up for work this morning and was later found dead in his home. It is still too early to know the cause, but he just commented on Facebook last night that he had been out running 20 miles and on his run was stung by a bee.  He was an avid runner, but I wonder if he had a bee allergy that he wasn’t aware of.  I suppose we will find out eventually.

Joe and I were baptized together as young babies.  I just kept thinking to myself that he made it home first.

After getting my bearings back and talking the situation over with my wife, I eventually settled back down to what I was doing before mom called.  I was much more reserved and contemplative, but I thought about the prayer journal portion of the eSword program and decided that I could make good use of it and do some additional prayer and bible review in the process.

I then went back to the video I was watching.  It wasn’t until I started the second video again and tried to find where I had left off that I experienced a powerful God Incidence.  The exact moment when my mom called with the sad news, the instructor in the video was demonstrating the search feature of eSword.  His term search = Heaven.  Because of the shock of the news, I didn’t recognize the connection until after I went back to it.  Could it just have been coincidence that the user in the video “found” heaven in his electronic bible search at the exact moment that I heard the news of my cousin’s passing?

I don’t believe it to be coincidence.  I believe it to be a message from Joe that he was finally home and found heaven.  Congratulations on finishing that last marathon, Joe!  I hope to reach the same finish line myself and be with you again one day.

Praise God!

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Monday, November 10, 2008 by Tom.

I lived Cursillo over the weekend of September 18-21. For those who don’t know what it is, Cursillo is an intense “short course” of Christianity and of God’s love. ::Flashback:: Back in 1987-89, I attended a few teenage retreats called “Search” while I was in high school in Steubenville, Ohio. Each retreat was led by a team of guys from all the area high schools with two rectors and a priest spiritual director.

Search was probably my first intense encounter of God’s love for me in a setting similar to Cursillo, but on a teenage level.  I served on three or four teams after my first Search as a participant.  The last Search during my senior year of high school was very emotional and intense and I became very good friends with our two rectors Mark and Brandon.  Mark and Brandon both went on to attend the Franciscan University of Steubenville.  I went to that university as well, but I did not live on campus while Mark and Brandon did. We continued to be friends, but  lost touch soon after graduating.  I saw Brandon at our ten year high school, but Mark wasn’t there.  I don’t believe I’ve seen either of them since.

On the Tuesday after living Cursillo, I had a court hearing in the Cleveland Municipal Court at 9:00 a.m.  On average, I go to Cleveland about once every 4 to 5 months; sometimes more frequently, sometime less.  I was still dragging from a weekend without as much sleep as I normally get, and  I had to be on the road early to battle the Cleveland rush hour traffic.  (I am spoiled for living less than one mile from my Sandusky office and generally face no traffic at all on my daily [under] five minute commute).  I got to Cleveland around 8:30 and parked in an underground parking garage.  I took the underground tunnel — I think only the attorneys and regulars know it — to the Justice Center.  A guy in blue jeans and polo shirt got onto the elevator with someone else in a suit and tie.  The polo shirt guy looked familiar, but I wasn’t sure until he started talking to the suit and I heard a familiar voice.  As they got off the elevator, I reached out and put my hand on his shoulder and asked, “Brandon?” 

I haven’t seen this guy for years.  We went to high school and college together in a small town 135 miles away and by some freak chance we ended up in the same underground tucked away elevator in the Cleveland Justice Center where at least 1000 or more people were filtering in for court appearances.  This Search reunion “just happens” two days after I experienced Cursillo.  That is not coincidence. 

Praise God!

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Monday, November 3, 2008 by Tom.

As seems to happen from time to time, on this particular Thursday evening, my wife and I found that we had nothing quick and easy to make for dinner.  We had the fixings for dinner menus that take a while to make/bake, but neither of us was interested in playing long term chef that evening, so we decided to pick up some quick and easy to make at the store.

Initially she was going to run by herself to the supermarket to pick something up. Sometimes one or the other of us will go to the store alone; sometimes we both want to go together; and sometimes neither of us want to go, but on this particular occasion time I decided I wanted to go along — even after my wife said she was just going to go herself.

So we packed up our youngster (big sister was at work) and off we went.  As we walked in the door at the grocery store, I immediately turned to get a grocery cart for our daughter to sit/ride in and I heard my wife exclaim to someone behind me: “HI!  How ARE You?!?”   I turned around to see her getting a hug from Fr. Tommy!  He was coming out from the checkout with a few bags of groceries.

My small faith sharing group has been, and will be, frequently mentioned in here.  It initially developed as a result of an unofficial retreat reunion explained here in the orange typeface. Fr. Tommy was one of the three ‘inaugural’ members and acted as our spiritual advisor until his temporary reassignment to a parish in Toledo in 2007. In 2008, he took a permanent parish assignment in New Washington. I had not seen him for well over a year and he just happened to be in town for a day or two visiting some other people.

My wife and I had just talked about him that day or the day before as I told her about our conversations at bible study and news of how he was getting along at his new parish. Had we decided not to buy anything new for dinner, or to go somewhere else, or for me to stay home with our daughter = I would have missed him.

Praise God!

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Monday, November 3, 2008 by Tom.

Have you ever heard the analogy that Jesus is speaking to us and giving us graces all the time, 24/7, but unless we are tuned in, we miss a lot of what He is saying? I’ve heard it compared to the radio airwaves. The music or talk shows on the radio are circulating all around us, but unless we have the radio turned on and tuned in to that specific frequency, we really never know it is there.

On this particular morning, I drove my teenage daughter to summer school. Although history and social studies were my most favorite classes in high school, she apparently finds them unbearable. So she managed to get them out of the way more quickly in the summer sessions.

During the regular school year, she usually went to school early when her mom left for work, leaving me complete access to the bathroom! (I am the only male in a house with a single bathroom and three females, although thankfully the two year old hasn’t yet staked her claim to the bathroom as is the birthright of any of us fortunate enough to be born with the X chromosome).

My regular morning routine usually consisted of turning on the radio in the bathroom after the other girls left and before the third girl woke up. Through my morning of showering and getting ready, I listened to an AM talk radio station out of Cleveland. On this particular week, my wife was on vacation and able to sleep in, so I offered to take our daughter to summer school myself. Because she did not have to be to school as early as during the regular year and because my wife was sleeping in, out of husband-ly courtesy, I chose to forego my daily routine of listening to the radio blare out from the bathroom.

Also, because my wife was on vacation, I was allowed to drive her car in the mornings! She doesn’t share my same tastes in radio.  So sometimes when driving her car I turn the radio to my regular station, but often I do not.

On this particular day after dropping off our daughter at school, something told me to turn the radio on and tune in to my AM station. When I did, I caught the tail end of an interview with a Cleveland attorney about his firm’s charitable donations to Ohio charities taken from unclaimed class action settlements.  This lawyer is a very good friend of my own boss who had told me about this program a few months before, but I completely forgot about it until hearing the end of this interview. I have not heard anything about the program since then on any radio or newspaper, so had I not turned the radio on at the very moment I did, I would likely have missed the boat entirely.

I am the chairperson of my parish Social Concerns team and this is one area where we might be able to help bring money to charities in our local community that we otherwise would not have been able to.

Praise God!

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Monday, November 3, 2008 by Tom.

One weekend in June of 2008, we had a scary incident at our house. I woke up at about 4:00 and heard voices outside our bedroom window (which isn’t uncommon as it is right next to the sidewalk on a well traveled street).  I got up and went to the bathroom and then heard our doorbell ring while I was in there.  I come out to my wife calling for me and I hear her talking to someone in the front hall: “I’m sorry, I can’t let you in my house.  I’m sorry - do you need help?”

It was pouring down rain and a shirtless man was standing outside our door standing under the door awning.  He didn’t speak, but just pointed toward the sky/rain and kept knocking on our door.  We thought he couldn’t speak English based on how he was gesturing and such.  I finally did what was probably a very stupid thing.  I took a shirt and a towel out to the man through our attached garage.  He took them from me and then promptly walked in through the open garage door and toward the stairs into our house.

I chased after him (weaponless and hoping he was as well). I put my hand up on his back/shoulder and told him he could not go into the house.  He stopped, turned around, and started talking for the very first time and the alcohol odor was almost strong enough to knock me down.  He said something about just wanting to come in the back.  I told him, “You can have the shirt and the towel, but you cannot come inside my house.”  He then asks me why me and my family were messing with him. I had no idea what he meant and I told him so.  I told him again that he could keep the clothes, but that he had to go back outside, not knowing how he was going to react — he wasn’t a very tall guy, but he was a lot more muscular than I am.

Thank God… the guy just looked at me, shook his head, cursed a few more times, and walked back out the garage door into the rain.  As I closed the door, he walked back around to the garage and then back to the front steps.  He continued knocking on our front door, and rang the doorbell again while I was on the phone with the police dispatcher.  They sent a cruiser over and we heard the policemen talking to him through our bedroom window.  He told them his name and where he lived (nowhere near our neighborhood).  Then the police radio blared back that this guy was a registered sexual offender.  He was three steps away from being in my house with my wife, teenage daughter, and toddler!

The police never made direct contact with us — I wonder if the dispatcher even told them that the guy tried to walk into our house.  They probably just thought he was a drunk that somebody phoned in. I later discovered details about the guy’s prior record, which isn’t really vital to the story so I won’t go into that. I don’t know why I went out on the rainy night to offer him a towel and shirt. It really wasn’t a smart thing to do, but I thought that he was a person in need and that I might be able to help him.

The following week only myself and one other made it to the small group. I told the other guy the details of what happened and how I was concerned for my own safety at the time, but was also concerned that this guy maybe needed some serious help. The conversation turned to us wondering what this guy’s story really was — whether he was a violent offender or just a guy down on his luck and in need of a helping hand. We talked about the fault in judging others or assuming the worst in people without knowing their true history. We talked about the need for humility and compassion even for those who might otherwise do harm to us.

When we finally got to reading the upcoming Gospel, my friend somehow got the chapters mixed up and read Mt 21:26-end instead of Mt 10:26-33. I noticed, but did not say anything because the wrong reading had application to the situation we were just talking about.

The “wrong” reading was highlighted in my bible from a prior session and it spoke directly to the point of the dangers expressed above.  I mentioned that it must have been a coincidence (knowing that I didn’t really mean that).  He immediately said that he didn’t believe it was a coincidence at all…

I agree.

Praise God!

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Thursday, October 30, 2008 by Tom.

Every week I take part in a small faith sharing group with a few other men. We usually take a look at and read the scheduled Scripture readings from the upcoming Sunday Mass. Peppered in between each reading, we discuss ideas and questions that we have about the readings. Sometimes this takes us off on a tangent in a particular direction and we end up on an altogether different biblical topic.

In early March of 2008, I discussed the Lenten activity God-incidence story in the previous blog entry with the group.  After our second reading, our discussion led us down a few different paths and ultimately one fellow had a question about the creed; in particular about the phrase “we look for the resurrection of the dead.” (Unfortunately, I no longer recall the specific question he was asking at the time).

After some brief discussion, he decided to do a bit of research on his particular question.  The very next reading from John’s gospel had direct application to his question.  Read Jn 11:1-45.

(This was not the first time that a reading immediately followed a discussion and shed light on a specific question posed).

Praise God!

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Thursday, October 30, 2008 by Tom.

Before getting into this entry, I need to make a few points.

- My intention was to post all of my experiences that pre-dated this blog before moving on to new occurrences which occurred after I created the blog. I am still going to do that, but I just had a new encounter last weekend that I am anxious to get to.  I will hopefully get the rest of these entries up in the next week or so and then share me experience from last Sunday.

- But jumping ahead just for a second, I shared some of these ideas with a special group of people last Sunday and one person in particular shared that he and his wife have had similar experiences.  They choose to call these “God-incidences” - a term that is so much more appropriate than my own “non-coincidences.”  So I have decided to adopt his terminology.  Thanks Jamie!

Each year for Lent, our parish holds weekly evening prayer on Wednesday evenings. In years past, this was only sparsely attended.  When asked, many potential attendees indicated that because the prayer session was during or just after the dinner hour, it was very difficult to get home from work, feed the family, and get back to church for a short prayer meeting.

So it was a few years ago that this annual Lenten gathering turned into evening Soup and Prayer. A parishioner who owns a local restaurant generously donates two large kettles of soup each week and various types of bread so that all can gather to share a warm meal and fellowship with each other and then join together in prayer. This has become an event that I look forward to each year and I often volunteer to lead the prayer during one of the weeks.

We have a set format using printed prayer/song sheets with some scripture reading as well. There is also a brief period of time reserved for the prayer leader to give a short reflection or witness.

When I led prayer during the last Lenten season, I decided to do something a little bit different. I was inspired by the concept of fortune cookies. Just a week before, I shared dinner with my wife from a popular fast food Mexican food chain.  Maybe you’ve seen the corny attempts at humor on the taco sauce packets from this chain?

I read one of them and then told my wife that was the dumbest thing I had ever heard before. I then picked up another packet of taco sauce for my taco. That packet read “The feeling is mutual”! (This is NOT the God-incidence, but I guess it could be).

I shared this story with those attending Soup & Prayer night. I also shared with them the idea that There are No Coincidences with God. I then pulled out a basket full of about 45 slips of colored paper about the size of the slip inside a fortune cookie.  Each slip of paper was folded over twice to conceal the printed text.

Printed on each slip of paper was a different Lenten activity suggestion. I encouraged each person to pull out a slip and try to work the suggestion into his or her Lenten sacrifice.  (I found the ideas here).  Before passing the basket, I made brief mention again that there are no coincidences with God and that each person would choose the slip that God meant him or her to take. Some would be more difficult or more of a sacrifice than others, but all were within the means of the average person.

I printed the slips in advance and I read through all of them before printing them out. There was one in particular that I thought was a wonderful idea and I thought to myself, I might just do that anyway, regardless of what I ultimately pick out of the basket. That was  the only suggestion that I specifically remembered by the time Soup & Prayer night was upon us.

After the basket made its way around the room and back to me, there were only ten or so slips left to choose from.  I pulled one slip out and was ironically NOT amazed to discover that it was the very one I had been thinking of all along.

There was only one copy of each suggestion when I started. I did not pre-mark any of the slips and I did not take notice of which suggestion was printed on which color paper.

Praise God!

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Thursday, October 23, 2008 by Tom.

One evening in the summer of 2007, I went to the local supermarket to pick up a few things for dinner.  As I walked toward the front canopy, I made eye contact with an older ragged looking man who had just finished speaking to another store patron.  He smiled at me and started to speak to me as I approached closer.

The man asked if I was a local and whether I knew of any churches or other places in town that could “help a guy out.” He explained to me that he was driving through town on his way to another city a few hours east when he had some car trouble – maybe it was a flat tire.  He stopped to change the flat or take a look at whatever the problem was which required him to jack up the car.  Apparently the jack didn’t hold and the car came down striking the man in his arm or hand.

He said that he made it to the local emergency room and they fixed him up and gave him a prescription that he was trying to get filled, but he had no money.  Before going any further, I thought as I was standing there that it sounded a little bit like a scam, and it very well may have been, but that isn’t the point.

He showed me the prescription he got, which looked legitimate.  He had his arm in a sling.  He told me that the pharmacy indicated the prescription would only cost $12 to fill, but he had no money.  He did not ask ME for a dime.  He simply asked if I knew of anyplace that could help him.  I told him of a few places I knew of, but none of them are sites where you can go in and get assistance right now.  The places I knew of were only open during restricted hours.

I told the fellow that I wished I could help him more, but I rarely carry cash on me and pay with a debit card.  He thanked me for my time and said he would go inside and talk to the pharmacist again to see if they could help at all.  I went on my way to pick up the items I came for.

In the back of the store, as I walked by the dairy section (usually one of the busiest places in the store), there was NOBODY around.  As I walked past something caught my eye on the floor up ahead.  Another step or two and I recognized it as a five dollar bill.  There was nobody around giving any indication of who might have lost it, but it had to have just fallen because there is far too much traffic for it to just sit there for more than 30 or 45 seconds without anyone snatching it up.

I reached down thinking this was my lucky day!  An extra five dollars isn’t much, but every little bit helps.  As soon as I touched it, but NOT UNTIL I touched it, I immediately thought of the ragged old man with his arm in a sling.  I walked quickly up to the front of the store where the pharmacy is located.

When I got to the edge of the OTC medicine aisles, I saw the man.  He was just walking away from the pharmacy window.  I walked over and said to him, “I know you’re not going to believe this, but I just found this bill on the floor by the milk.”  I was certain he would think that I had it the whole time and just decided to give it to him, but it ultimately doesn’t really matter what he thought.

He simply smiled and thanked me and commented that he was almost half way there.  I finished my shopping and went on my way home.

To this day, I don’t know if the guy was scamming or if he was legitimate, but I really don’t care either way.  Was it a coincidence that the man talked to me without ever asking ME for money?  Was it a coincidence that a five dollar bill was laying right in the middle of a usual high traffic area with nobody around?  Was it a coincidence that I happened to find it?

I don’t believe there was any coincidence to it at all.  Call me naïve or too trusting of people, but I believe I helped somebody that day even if just in a small way and I believe that God used me to help the ragged man.  Read Mt 25:33-40

To the ragged old man, I say: Thank you for opening my eyes and my heart to Jesus and for reminding me that There are No Coincidences with God.

Praise God!

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Wednesday, October 22, 2008 by Tom.

In 1998, I started a personal home page while I was an AOLer.  Over the next few years, I edited the pages to include new ideas and links while deleting some of the old ideas and broken links.  My site moved from AOL to a user page on a smaller independent ISP and most recently to a new server with a new domain.  The page, as it currently is, is not updated often enough, but feel free to take a look.

One of the pages I added along the way is the story of my wife and I.  Not coincidentally, I titled that page There are No Coincidences with God.  It is my firm belief that every one of us experiences daily uncountable “non-coincidences”, but we don’t always see or recognize them.  These encounters might also be called graces or answered prayers or encounters with angels or any number of other descriptions.

My question(s) to you: What if there was no such thing as “coincidence”?  What if everything we experience is a part of God’s divine plan?  Would we look at our encounters and our personal choices differently?  Maybe not… but maybe!

A few years ago, even after posting the story of my wife and I to my web site, I began noticing more and more often that these “non-coincidences” seemed to occur more frequently than I ever realized.  But I also found that after a few days (or sometimes even a few short hours) I could only remember the more obvious and profound “non-coincidences.”  I lost track of many other “non-coincidences” and it bothered me.  Years ago, I used to journal my thoughts and ideas on an infrequent and irregular basis, so I decided to start up that practice again, but with exclusive regard to my “non-coincidence” experiences.

So I started up a new Word file on my computer and began to jot down some of my experiences.  After a number of months I had about ten or so entries in my journal, but it wasn’t until late October of 2008 that I realized two things  after getting a phone call from a friend.  First, I still did not record all of my experiences.  Second, and more importantly, even those recorded experiences — for the most part — I did not share with anyone else.

I asked myself what good was I doing to track my own experience with “non-coincidences” if I didn’t share them with others? Sure, I added the There are No Coincidences with God idea to my web site and encouraged others to share their experiences with me*, but the real power to the idea that There are No Coincidences with God is in the ongoing reinforcement and personal witness of that idea.  It is not a one time experience never to be witnessed again.  Read Mt 5:14-16; Mk 4:21; Lk 11:33

*(I’ve only had one person e-mail me of his experience, but I chose to not re-publish others’ stories without the consent of all involved).

So, I decided to make this my first foray into true blogging.  I don’t claim to have any special knowledge, insight, or credentials and I am not necessarily looking to debate the theology or skepticism of those who question the existence of God.  Those who want to debate that idea should take a look at Three Steps to the Fountain and direct your arguments to the webmaster there.  All I can say is that I’ve witnessed the love of God and I absolutely believe that There are No Coincidences with God. I want to share these experiences with others and hear of their own.

Some of these instances will be more profound and significant than others, but none are insignificant. Some of my stories will be more personal than others and may contain comments or thoughts that make them seem childish or incomprehensible to anyone who hasn’t shared my personal experience.  An “inside joke” means nothing to the person on the outside.  That won’t make the encounter any less valid to me, so I choose to journal those as well.

I have no idea how often I will add new entries.  I guess that will depend upon how observant and in tune I am to the daily graces that I receive.  But I welcome any reflection or comments and invite you to share your own experiences which tell you in your heart that There are No Coincidences with God.  Let this blog be a sounding board for all who believe.

I have a number of past experiences in my journal that I will post here in the next few weeks and will move forward from there.

Praise God!

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